Capacity to Be Alone

The capacity to be alone is, in Winnicott's analysis, a developmental paradox. It is not the ability to be physically alone. It is the ability to be psychically alone in the presence of another — to play independently while the mother sits nearby, present but not intrusive, available but not demanding. Before this capacity develops, the infant can play with the mother or be alone without the mother, but cannot play alone while the mother is present. The achievement of the intermediate state — playing independently while held in the mother's awareness — is the foundation of all subsequent creative work. It is what makes possible the adult's engagement with solitary creative tasks, because solitary is never quite solitary; it occurs within the internalized presence of the holding environment.